Hopes and Fears
by Valant
Summary: Late at night at the Malfoy Manor, Narcissa finds herself unable to sleep, anxious and worried about her pregnancy. As he always has been, Lucius manages to be there for her when she needs him the most. LMxNM oneshot.


**A/N**: This has probably been my favorite Lucissa fic to write so far. I wanted to try to include two different elements of their relationship in this one, so to speak, to show the kind of effect they can have on one another. Please enjoy, and review if it so pleases you!  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own Harry Potter, Lucius and Narcissa, etc. I'm just a fangirl.

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It was the middle of the night when Lucius awoke. The very faint light of the moon was the only thing illuminating the dark room; he couldn't even see the time on clock that rested on the dressing table not far from his bed. "Doesn't matter..." he muttered sleepily, and turned to face his wife and, with any luck, fall back asleep before sunrise. Lucius, however, was met not with the sight of the woman he adored, but simply the thin blankets the covered her side of the bed, tossed back haphazardly. It wasn't until he looked to see if the lights in the hall were on that he noticed the bedroom door slightly ajar. Curious, and fearing something may be wrong, he managed to rouse himself and made his way out to the hall.

He noticed no lights lit at all on the manor's upper floor, which only served to make him more concerned. He descended the stairs quickly, immediately finding his way to the drawing room, where he at last found his beloved. Narcissa sat alone on one of the leather couches, the large room illuminated by nothing but two small lamps that stood on the tables on either side of the sofa. Her hands were folded in her lap, her gaze focused downwards; a very rare sight for Lucius Malfoy.

"Narcissa...?" he asked quietly, in an attempt not to startle her.

A small gasp escaped the woman's lips when she heard her name called, clearly not expecting any visitors. "L-Lucius... I didn't know you were up..."

"Having trouble sleeping?"

"Just a bit, I suppose," she admitted softly. She did her utmost not to look at him, not to have her eyes meet his, for if they did she feared that she would dissolve into tears right in front of him.

"Could it be that something's troubling you...?" He took a seat next to her and placed his hand over her own, which she quickly withdrew as if frightened, or afraid. Lucius frowned. In the past when Narcissa had gotten in such a mood, his touch would only comfort her. Why should it be any different now?

"It's nothing, darling, truly. Go back to bed and I'll join you shortly." The insincerity in her voice itself was enough to hurt Lucius. Did she not trust him enough to confide in him, despite their years together? Or was it because she...? And then, suddenly, he was sure he understood.

Lucius took a deep breath before speaking. "Cissa, is this... Does this perhaps have something to do with our future child...?" he asked, attempting to be as delicate with her as possible. Narcissa's eyes widened for just a moment, but still refused to meet his gaze. She hadn't expected him to see her in such a state in the first place, let alone realize the circumstances so quickly. She merely bit her lower lip and offered a tiny, weak nod. There was no use attempting to hide anything from him anymore, she knew. "When you told me just several days ago that you were pregnant, you were so thrilled, I don't think either of us could have been happier...What has changed since then? Or...Are you having second thoughts...?"

"Nothing," she whispered, "nothing has changed, and I'm certainly not having second thoughts about it. I _was _thrilled to discover I was finally going to be having your child, and I still am. That's always been my dream, and I couldn't be more excited; you know that better than anyone. It's just... I'm so nervous, and that feeling didn't really set in until now. I'm afraid that something could...Something could go wrong or...Or maybe I won't be a good enough mother after all, or what if we have a daughter instead of a son, or-"

"Narcissa, you can't allow yourself to think that way," Lucius's tone had become stern, but his concern for his wife was impossible to mask. Gently and with the utmost caution, he reached out to touch her shoulder, hoping she would accept his comfort this time.

And accept him she did. Almost immediately, she leaned into him, burying her face in the robes that covered his chest, the thin fabric quickly becoming wet from the tears she could no longer keep from flowing down her cheeks. She felt foolish for keeping her fears and worries to herself, even for just a short while. Lucius was always there for her, whether her problems were large or small, nonsensical or serious, and this was no exception. After a moment's hesitation, she felt his arms close in around her; the very same way they always had whenever she had needed his love and his protection in the past.

Holding her close, Lucius at last managed to find the words to tell her what he needed to say and she needed to hear."...Cissa, not even I can predict the future and I can't lie to you. I won't tell you that everything will turn out perfectly, or that there won't be any complications. That's not a promise I can make to you. However, I _can_ say that no matter what happens, you and I will live through it together. I'll always be with you through this, even if—No, even _when_ I, too, am called upon to fight in the war." Both Narcissa and Lucius stole a quick glance at the Dark Mark branded upon his left arm, the skull and serpent a very dark stain on his pale skin. "As you know, there will be times when I'm forced to be apart from you for days at a time, if not weeks. However, even then, under no circumstances will I allow any harm to come to you or our child when he or she is born."

Narcissa could do nothing but listen. She knew the war would only make it harder for both of them, but she had faith in Lucius and every word he spoke to her.

"If the years I've spent with you are any indication at all, I'm sure that whether I'm here all the time or not, you'll make a fine mother. You're the most loving woman I've ever met and I'm almost certain that that love is the most important thing to have when it comes to being a parent. With that, there's no way you could possibly fail, or not be good enough, or any of that nonsense you've been filling your head with. And I swear to you, Cissa, that I as well will do everything I possibly can to be a good father to my son or daughter and remain a good husband to you. With your support, I'd like to think I could at least be _somewhat _competent at being a dad," he added with a smile.

"I know you will be," she assured him, her voice still slightly rough from sobbing as she had. "But really, Lucius, while I'm sure I'll always be slightly anxious about all of this, I know those feelings will be heavily outweighed by my eagerness and happiness to be your wife, and now the mother of your child. Just hearing you say those things made me really truly believe that. Thank you." The beginnings of a small smile of her own started to form on her lips.

"You don't need to thank me for telling the truth. To be honest I have no more idea of what to expect than you do, but it's something I've dreamt of experiencing with you for some time now, provided it was what you wanted. I'm so glad we've reached the point where that can become a reality."

"Th-the same goes for me..."

Lucius softly kissed the top of her head, and then did his best to stifle a yawn. No matter how much he adored Narcissa or how much he loved staying up talking with her, he couldn't change the fact that he had awoken in the middle of the night, not getting nearly as much sleep as he would have preferred.

"Oh!" she gasped, his yawn not escaping her notice. She pulled away from him, an apologetic expression on her face that she wanted to make sure he could see. "I really didn't mean to keep you up so late, Lucius. You'll have to forgive me for that."

"It's perfectly all right...I suppose I should just be thankful I woke up when I did, hmm? Merlin only knows what would've happened if I hadn't and I unknowingly left you to deal with those feeling alone. Combined with your raging hormones, I can't imagine it would be anything good..." he said with a smirk; his best attempt to keep her in a better mood.

"Oh, shut up, Lucius, and go get your beauty sleep," she chided him lightheartedly.

"I think you need your sleep more than I do, _mum_. Didn't the Healers tell you that you need to take care of yourself now more than ever?"

"Lucius!" she exclaimed, laughing. Hearing him say it made her realize how potentially difficult and yet how truly wonderful it would be to get used to her new titles of _mum_, _mommy_ and _mother_, among many others. Yes, the more she was with him, the more her anxiety and uneasiness about her pregnancy was able to subside. "Yes, they did happen to tell me something like that, but I believe they also said that I should expect more from my husband as well..."

"That's quite reasonable," he agreed with a solemn nod.

"Well then, I suppose that leaves us with two choices. You could continue to hold me here, letting me fall asleep in your arms and not letting go until I give you permission... Or you could continue to hold me here and _not_ let me fall asleep."

He considered them both for a moment before giving her any response. "While both of those are indeed incredibly appealing, I believe I can think of something just a little better. I could continue to hold you here and not let you fall asleep for some time until the two of us are quite exhausted, and we will proceed to nod off afterwards, still completely wrapped up in each other, and I'll simply excuse myself from my Ministry duties for tomorrow. Of course, we could add the step 'return to our bedroom' at any point in that plan if it pleases you," he explained.

"Lucius Malfoy, that is absolutely brilliant."


End file.
